Published Jun. 19, 2016 in the Ames Tribune.
I learned about the Orlando mass murder on Sunday morning before worship. I was dilly-dallying at home because we were gathering at a congregant’s llama farm rather than our sanctuary at Sixth and Kellogg. My wife read me headlines, but I didn’t look at any of the coverage myself. During worship we prayed for the victims and the perpetrator both, as our tradition teaches us to do, but in retrospect I was functioning only at an intellectual level. I had the information but had not heard the truth.
On arriving home I turned on the news to hear President Obama’s address. When he said “This is an especially heartbreaking day for all our friends—our fellow Americans—who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender,” I started to cry.
My survival strategy as a Lesbian in America has been to simply reject any and all statements or efforts that diminish me as a person, as a full citizen in this nation. I am a product of my biology and I do not suffer ignorance of that reality.
But that hasn’t meant I’ve walked through the world unbruised. It bruised me to have to go to Canada to get married. It bruised me to learn that, because she retired before the Supreme Court upheld gay marriage, I will be denied survivor benefits from my wife’s pension. It bruised me to have to leave the church of my childhood because I was considered invalid. It bruised me to know that 75% of congregations in my new church considered me invalid, too.